down 2 lbs this week

meal planning= setting yourself up for success

multiple trips to wegmans each week= multiple opportunities to buy ice cream

new challenge to be at goal weight by New Year's. think it's doable. need to plan our meals. considering trying emealz.com. Julie, at work, told me about it. it's worth a look if you hate planning meals, making the list, and shopping as much as I do. many people like to grocery shop. i do not get those people. i consider it a chore. note to self- convince one of those people to do my shopping. double their pleasure!

i am rebelling.

I can only attribute my lack of motivation to eat healthily to rebellion. Wow, it didn't seem this hard 4+ years ago! I go up... I go down. Going to the Y tonight to use the elliptical, or going for a walk, not sure yet.

I love to lose.

Down 4.5 lbs and went out of town to visit my aunt. It could have been a weekend-long free for all, but I maintained control. My aunt is an amazing cook!! Blueberry pancakes, french toast, three different kinds of pie..... the list goes on and on. I kept track of points in my head and on paper because they live in the boonies, so internet is slow. I am thankful for small triumphs!

Soy Joy... shouldn't I feel joyful right now?

Hi all!

So, I succombed to the mass marketing of this product called "Soy Joy". Yes, I paid $1 for a little log of supposed delight. I did check out their website prior to spending this small fortune, and read the ingredients. The one that shocked me was 'parmesan cheese'. Is this in lieu of some artificial substance that holds stuff together? I'm not sure, but my Peanut Chocolate Chip Soy Joy Bar contained it, and I ate it anyway.

To give you some perspective on the size of the bar, it was about the width of two Twix bars (actually probably a Twix bar and a half) and the same length as said Twix bar. Dinky. That was my breakfast. I can say that after drinking my coffee and my bar of joy, I am not hungry yet, so I guess that says something. Perhaps parmesan cheese is filling? Hmmm...

I am still waiting for the joy to kick in. Maybe they should call it "Dinky Bar of Soy That Will Stick to Your Ribs for Awhile and May Keep You From Binging at Lunch"? Nah, I'm pretty sure that's not very catchy.

This week is going well. The wagon is movin', and I'm on it. Ya hoo!!

Working in an office surrounded by cookies sucks

I am in my office right now... surrounded by cookies- not just cookies, but delightful, decadent, little devil goodies. I must leave soon. Not kiddin'. Kim- I'm workin from home or somewhere else this afternoon.

I am being mindful of what I'm eating with Weight Watchers. I almost typed "back on Weight Watchers".... but that felt defeating. See how that other way sounds better? I had an egg and one egg white scrambled for breakfast. I do better when I start the day with protein. I had a cup of coffee with flavored creamer- everybody needs some flavor! And I am just beginning to feel hungry. That's good and normal because it's a little after 12noon.

A little self-disclosure... for those of you who don't know Weight Watchers- you do a little survey on their website (if you're doing it on-line) and tell them your age, weight, height, work activity level, etc, and it will tell you how many points to eat for the day. After logging my weight the computer told me to retake the survey. Good news: I can add two more points to my daily eating. Bad news: I think that's because I'm in another weight bracket.

Moving on..... going forward from here!!

Why I have not been blogging:

I have love, love, loved the time spent with my family and friends this summer! I always get sad and pensive when summer comes to an end. I have been like this since childhood. I think it's because my soul loves the freedom, or at least the idea of freedom (still have to work... still have to get out of bed... still have to grocery shop), but it's summer!!! The sun is out (at least in August), the lightning bugs are flying (not as much this year), the corn is sweet, and time is spent sitting and talking with a glass of wine or beer in your hand, a citronella candle keeping the skeeters away, and the Steve Miller Band playing in the background.

Now, to get to the point of this blog..................

There has not been a lot of controlled eating or exercising this summer. Hmmmm...... I'm not sure what to say about that. I think about it. I know I've gained weight. I rationalize this by saying to myself, "you're on the pill now", and "work is really stressfull". I still love my body, but I need to start treating it better.

"You need to blog!" "Why haven't you been blogging?" I haven't been blogging because I feel ashamed of myself. I can't believe I have fallen off the wagon to this degree. Please, I don't need any words of wisdom, or encouragement, or any of that. I need to pull myself out of this funk and get on with it. It's my situation to deal with. I will work it out myself, knowing in my heart that you all support me and love me.... whether I'm a size 8 or not.

arms, fruit, eating, and cake decorating....

Does anyone have a good arm workout? I am thinking specifically of one using weights.

On a nutrition note: blueberries are on sale at Wegmans 2/$3- They're nature's m&m's! Also, cherries are awesome right now! I know they're not cheap, but they are so good, and much better than snacking on chips or candy.

We went to the Adirondacks last week, and I didn't eat well. I'm not sure we even had a vegetable all week. Do baked beans count as a vegetable? I am back on track this week.

Hannah and I are going to take a cake decorating class to be held each Thursday evening in July. I am really excited about it, I'm not sure about Hannah. I think I'm forcing her to do it with me, but she will come to see that it will be well worth the time she would have otherwise spent in front of the tv. Here's the snafoo.... I don't want to taste the frosting, for fear that it will throw me into a feeding frenzy.... and... I don't want to waste the points on lard and powdered sugar. I'm going to need some guinea pigs to test the goods I think. Any takers?

I did not run....

because I had the 'runs'. Ha Ha Ha!!! I kill me!!! (Seriously, it was an unpleasant experience.) Tonight we're playing kickball with our extended family. Wish me luck.

So I've decided...

(after taking a couple weeks off since the 5k) to do run/walk intervals, much like the couch potato to 5k. I am going to give this a try and see how we do with the headaches. I think it should be better. Tonight's the trial run. I'll keep you posted.

Live Like Liz 5K in Watkins Glen

Michael and I pre-run

Part of my cheering section- Sara and the babe

More cheerleaders

After the race! We did it!!

It was awesome!! I used the inhaler and it helped a lot. Michael ran it in 27 minutes. Wow. I ran it in 36 minutes. My norm. My main goals were to: 1. Not get lapped by any of the walkers and 2. Not finish last. I achieved them both! Yay!! It was a beautiful day, and I really enjoyed the experience.

The bad news.... I got a headache about 3 hours after the race. It knocked me on my butt. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. More to come...

inhaler update and a bit more

So, the inhaler did it's job. I was tweeking a bit at the beginning- jittery, hands shaking, etc., but that wore off. Yay for inhalers! We ran a 5K route that was a little up hill, a little downhill. It was my favorite so far.... except for the bridge. I am deathly afraid of heights and this happens to be the bridge that is just past the museum on your way out of town headed towards Watkins Glen (414). Michael asked me why I looked down. I'm not sure why. Why do people look at fiery crashes then look away then look back? Suffice it to say it was way high up and traffic was headed in both directions. Scary.

My next ailment. I noticed a pattern a few weeks ago and that is that I get a headache a few hours after I run. Everytime. I chalked it up to sinuses, allergies, migraine, whatever. Then I googled 'headache after running' and it's an actual condition. People who are prone to migraines (raising my hand) are more apt to be at risk for these 'exercise induced headaches'. Are you f$#@%ing kidding me?!?! I like the running. Why have I been forsaken? I am going to push through this and run Thursday and Sunday and see what happens next.

oops...

The website is www.livelikeliz.org . Error below.

I'm Blogging, I'm Blogging.... Jeesh Man!!

Yes, so we're at 3 miles, and the 5K is this weekend!! I am nervous, excited, pumped, insert next adjective (or is it adverb) here!!!!

On June 7th we will run the Live Like Liz 5K. Check out the website at www.livelikeliz.com . Elizabeth (Liz) died at age 20 from ovarian cancer. I heard about this run from one of my co-workers. It starts and ends at Watkins Glen High School and runs along the Catherine Valley Trail. I think Michael and I should scout out the route before actually running on Sunday, but he may think that's silly. I want to be prepared. I want to do everything right to ensure I am prepared. Do we eat pasta the night before? Or is that bad now? Do we fast until after we run? Any tips would be helpful.

Also, you should know (cause that's what blogs are for, right bitches?) that I was prescribed an inhaler on Friday. So, I kinda feel like my airway is being cut off when I'm running, and the rest of my body says "Go, Go, Go!!!" By the time I'm done running, my face is so red it's almost purple. I'm beginnng to frighten my children. "Mommy, why is your face SO red?" (Hannah age 10) So conversations with my mom led me to remember that I had trouble with running in gym class as a kid and the doctor said I had "Runner's Asthma". I played sports all during middle and high school, but they did not require constant running. (I did volleyball and softball and sat the bench during basketball.) So as a kid I had trouble with running, and did not have allergies. Now, I am allergic to everything that grows, causes dust or mold, or barks, meows, or oinks. Let's just toss all that into the mix with the "Runner's Asthma" and it makes for a pretty uncomfortable run at times. I am generally ok for the first mile, then during the second mile I lose my breath.

So my nurse practitioner (who used to run) prescribed me an inhaler and I am going to use it for the first time tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.

P.S.- If you are reading this, hubby, I would like a new outfit to run in on Sunday.
P.S.S- I am broke. It would be nice if you could buy it for me. :)

I HEART my body.

It does amazing things. It is strong. It has allowed me to birth two children. It runs when my mind thinks it is impossible. It stretches and strains. It expands and contracts. It reminds me that I am beautiful and curvy and feminine. It sweats because it's working hard. It aches. It loves to be touched. It loves to touch others. It has been a good friend to me. I am in awe of its wonders.

Thighs that rub together... part of my DNA

So, my hubbie and I ran together last night. We mapped out a 3 mile loop and headed out from the Y. We ran the first mile, and I was cheered on by Michael to keep running. He's very encouraging of me, which is so awesome, and at certain times I wanted to kick him in the shin and make him let me stop. We walked for another 3/4 mile or so, and then picked up the pace to start running for the last mile. I DID IT!!! So, all tolled, we ran a little over 2 miles together. It felt so good! I'm working my way to being able to run a 5K. I LOVE that we're doing this together!! I'm sure we're going to do it separately too, but doing it together is really nice. I can't wait till the 5K run in June!

So, this part is not for the squeamish. You were warned.

I noticed a couple things yesterday. 1. I sweat a lot in my nether-regions. 2. Sweat is good lubrication for your thighs. I had shorter shorts on than normal and throughout the course of the run/walk I felt the need to pull them down so my thighs would not spontaneously combust. That was, until I got a good sweat going, then it was like my thighs were covered in lube. Sweat is my friend! P.S.- no matter how heavy or thin I have been in my lifetime, my inner thighs have always rubbed together. They are one of those areas on my body that I would circle with a red pen. I do love my body, it constantly amazes me with the things it can do. It's not the same as when I was 17, and guess what? It's not supposed to be.

down 2.4 lbs

So the scale said I was down 2.4 lbs this morning. That is probably because I sweat so much this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I will take the heat over the cold any day.

Anybody for bathing suit shots? Holla!

Stay tuned, you sick, twisted bitches. My boobs do look pretty good, if I do say so myself. You'll have to wait and see!

Back from vaca... back on the weight loss wagon!

Hi all. I was asked if I counted points over vacation and my answer was, "Yes, I counted all of them as they went into my mouth!"

I did a run/walk on Good Friday at the beach and it was AMAZING!!! I felt strong! I felt proud! I felt athletic!! People were watching me and I was like, "Yeah, I'm running at the beach." I was one of THOSE people. Yay me!

Then Saturday happened, and I burned (pretty badly) the backs of both my legs from buttocks to ankle. I apparently forgot to apply or re-apply (depending on whose version you hear) sunblock to those areas. I swear I was only on my belly for 30 minutes...tops! Florida sun is different than upstate NY sun.

My point in telling you that is to say that it thwarted my running/walking efforts. I was in pain.

I'm going to the Y tonight to do the Nautilus and then running tomorrow. I will force the hubbie to teach me how to put my own pictures on the blog. I swear!

And I ran... (you know the song)

I RAN!! It was a beautiful evening! There were bugs flying around. I told Michael that I felt like I was gonna inhale one! I thought about running with my face down, but that didn't seem safe.

Going Running Tonight!!

It's been over a week. I will do it tonight. I have had a motivation problem as well as scheduling problems! The "live like liz" run is scheduled to take place on June 7th. Anyone care to join? Michael and I are doin' it and I'd like to get dorky t-shirts made that say something like "Team Edger" or something. Do you think it would be pushing it to make them hot pink? There's nothing like getting your husband to run a 5K with you and then asking him to wear a hot pink t-shirt. I haven't mentioned the white tube socks with hot pink stripes at the top yet. I'm biding my time with that one.

Step away from the.....everything!

We had some family stress/trauma yesterday. Our 14 year old doggie, Blake is not doing well. He is at the vets having some tests run, and then we shall see. It was stressful/sad for me because he is my first baby...not only is he my first baby, he's Michael's first baby, our first baby as a couple. We got him about 5 minutes after we kissed. I'm very persuasive. Michael was very sad, as was Hannah. Every time Hannah would cry, Michael would cry and vice versa. I broke down once or twice, but mostly I just gave him love. Jordan is Jordan. She's still little. It's so funny because she's such a drama queen, but when it comes to legitimate sad stuff, she's sorta fine with it.

So, why is this on the weight loss/fitness blog? Because I think I stated in one of the earlier posts that I am a stress eater. So, true confession time. Deep breath. (I'm learning how to breathe at the centering prayer sessions. Good thing.) Hannah and I went to lunch at the Olive Garden- trying to take her mind off Blake, and I needed to run some errands. I got soup and salad. I got the zupa (sausage potato soup) and should have gotten the minestrone. I ate two breadsticks, ate the croutons that come with the salad, and then.... promptly ordered the black tie mousse cake to 'share' with Hannah, knowing full well that she was full. side bar: The one thing I've done right with my kids is to teach them to 'listen to their body' when it comes to eating. Hannah is really good at that. What's that saying, 'do as I say, not as I do'.

So, we ran our errands and came home. I then proceeded to eat a piece of pizza and a bite of a breadstick that we had brought home with us. The rest of the day is a blur, but I know I ate a sloppy joe (on a multigrain 1 point roll) and some coconut gelato, oh, and I ate my weight in almonds.

Today I had a donut from D+D and a coffee with cream and sugar. I am having a Lean Cuisine for lunch. I am getting back on track. My point to all of this? I am going to forgive myself the 'food meltdown' and get back on the wagon.

P.S.- Full disclosures suck.

I changed my weight on WW.com- I couldn't stand it anymore!

So sue me.

Should I stay or should I go now?

So I weighed myself this morning and now I'm down almost 3 pounds since yesterday. Had the Amish Friendship Bread taken that long to digest? My question is: do I log in this new weight on WW.com, or do I leave it as a measly .2 lb weight loss for last week? I really want to change my weight on WW.com. I think it will help my mental health with regard to how hard I worked last week, and how careful I was (minus the AFB). Should I change it? P.S.- the hubbie was very tired last night so there was no photo shoot. I will try to get him to take my picture tonight.

.2 lbs lost (wtf)... or The devil's in the Amish f#$%'n friendship bread.

So I weighed in this morning and I'm down .2 pounds. This is a far cry from my anticipated 4 pounds. Photo will be coming tonight.

So, my friend gave me an amish friendship bread starter bag of dough (fermented goo actually), and thought my family would enjoy the 10 day process of growing the amish goodness. For more info on this phenomenon, check this out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_Friendship_Bread She was right. We did enjoy the whole process. It was fun coming home deciding who would squoosh the bag, and who would pour in the sugar. It was so cute and fun and amishy thinking, 'we're waiting 10 days to bake a couple loaves of bread'. This doesn't happen nowadays. We open the box- add the egg, oil, and water, and you have an instant cake or something. We added chocolate chips to our friendship bread- yum. Having poured so much of myself into this bread, I simply had to try it on Saturday. I had quite a few flex points left, so I happily ate some. OMG...it was so good!!! Now keep in mind that I have not eaten anything resembling chocolate chips, cake, or crumbly cinammony goodness for over two weeks. How could I have forgotten that chocolate is a trigger food for me? I'm sure I ate more than my flex points worth of Amish f#$%'n Friendship Bread.

almost two complete weeks down...

... and I've stayed on track! yay!

Huh?

How come my week 1 picture looks skinnier than my week 2 picture? Hmmm....

1st Weigh-In

Well, I weighed in this morning and I'm down 3.7 pounds. I'm sooo happy!!! I'm not sure I mentioned it before, but I do the online version of Weight Watchers. I have done meetings in the past. My first leader spoiled me though. She was awesome. I haven't clicked with any of them since then. Anyway, WW has worked for me in the past, and I know I am successful with this program. Atkins, cabbage soup, South Beach... not for me. This is the only program that allows me to be me. So, when you log your weight online, you get a little WW-gram. It's either a smiley face 'cause you lost just enough weight, a scale if you gained, and a 'wanna be' smiley face if you lost too much (they want you to lose 2lbs a week, not much more than that). This 'wanna be' smiley face is happy for you, but looks frightened at the same time. It causes confusion for me. Are you happy for me or scolding me, little smiley man?

Workin' Out with the Fam

We rode our bikes to the in-laws house today. What a beautiful day!! The sun was shining and you could feel the warmth of it on your face. The sky was blue and the birds were chirping. I think spring is on its way.

Centering Prayer

Say it with me, "Ahmmmmmm". This is week two of an 8am Saturday 'class' where we practice centering prayer at church. From what I gather it's meditation, communing with God, creating space to receive messages, letting go for a period of time.

We start out with a two minute centering time, then build to five minutes, then the finale is a twenty minute period. Have you ever tried to sit still with your eyes closed and your mind clear for twenty minutes??!! Um, it's hard. I have been trying to work through what buddhists call 'monkey brain'. 'Monkey brain' is where you are meditating and all these random thoughts keep popping up. I think of it like the old Atari game Pong... bing, bing, bing... gotta work out, gotta do the laundry, did I...? So you try to overcome the 'monkey brain' by coming back to 'center' and focusing on your breathing and counting. 1-2-3-4... 1-2-3-4...

I asked the question on Saturday, "How do you know when you've arrived?" My pastor said something like, 'as soon as you get there you are no longer there'. I asked is it like, "Catch me if you can?", and he said 'yes'. I told him I was expecting this experience to be like looking at one of those pictures where you have to focus (or not focus) to get the picture to come into view- like your mind's eye is seeing it, but your actual eyes are not. I asked if this centering is like when you actually see the picture unfold before you? He laughed and said he could never see those pictures. Hmmm.... I think he answered me without answering me.

I am looking for the 'right' way to do this, and I think that will cause frustration and a feeling of failure, so I will continue doing it the way I have been doing it, because it feels 'right'. I think that's what counts.

Stressed is desserts spelled backwards.

So it's been a pretty stressful week. Lots to do at work, lots to do after work, adjusting to the time change...blah, blah, blah. Stress affects our eating- duh. I am not immune to this. So, if I'm pretty stressed I want to eat anything that's not nailed down. If I get past that point and move into anxiety, I don't have any interest in eating. Today I could have eaten my weight in salty or sweet food... and I didn't. I went out to lunch at a new restaurant that features homemade soups, salads, sandwiches and desserts. I had most of my flex points left, so I knew I could induge a little. I ordered a cup of cream-based soup, a small sandwich, and a piece of carrot cake. I ate half of the cup of soup, the whole sandwich, and half of the carrot cake. It was lovely. I stayed in control and I am proud of that.

can you crack a smile?... and other stuff

The hubbie and I worked out together tonight. We're bonding. It's nice. Really nice. I love him. He ran slower than I know he can, just to run alongside me tonight. He also made a mix of music for me that goes along with my 'couch potato to 5K' program. Yes, everyone, there is a program out there for you! This program trains you to be ready to run a 5K in about 9 weeks. The overall premise is to start slowly with a walk/run training regimine. So, the hubbie created a musical experience for me that tells me when to walk and when to run. Ah, the gift of being married to a computer geek. We are both going to run together in a race in June that supports ovarian cancer prevention/detection. It will be awesome! More details to come....

So 'can you crack a smile' girl trained us tonight on the nautilus system at the Y, because, yes, we are now card-carrying members of our local Y-M-C-A. We're learning the circuit so we don't break the equipment or our asses in the process of trying to exercise, and this girl/woman is a low-talker, a mumbler, and has about zero personality (or at least none that we saw). I want my trainer to be like Denise Austin- "You can do it!! I know this hurts right now, but think about how teeny tiny your bottom is going to get!! Yay!! Great job!!! There was none of that with 'can you crack a smile' girl. She seemed genuinely disinterested in our experience, health, or anything for that matter. I think I'm going to make it my mission to get her to crack a smile.

4 Points for yogurt?

So, I'm doing Weight Watchers. I have been very successful with that in the past. It's the best program for me. My family is also trying to eat healthier... organic when we can... less soda and junk food, etc. I am used to fat free sugar free yogurt. Who knows if this is 'healthy' given the artificial sweetener? What I know is that it's low in points- 2, in fact. Today I ate a low fat, regular sugar yogurt (trying to be healthier) and it was 4 POINTS!!! If you've ever done WW, you know those points are like gold, and you will do anything you can to save them. I rocked in my chair, grieving the loss of the 2 point yogurt I was used to eating. Where have you gone, my Yoplait goodness?

hi.

Here I am again. Working to get back in shape. This blog will serve as a progress report for me. I do Weight Watchers and recently joined the Y with my husband. I'm doing the "Couch Potato to 5K" exercise regimen in preparation for a 5K to be held in June. I know I feel and look better when I'm in shape.....so here I am again. Stay tuned....